Sayonara to Normality!
by TRF
Summary: Shishiwakamaru is beat up by horde of demons and they stash his unconscious body in Ningenkai where a 16-year-old girl finds him. Frying pans, mood swings, and evil, evil fangirls ahead!
1. Shishi's Too Pretty For Ningenkai!

AN: Hmm…I was waiting for the stupid Anti-Virus scan to get done and this idea came into my head, so I decided to write it down, obviously.  Also, it's sort of obvious, but this is AU.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, obviously.  All I own are my characters and my plot.

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_Spirit World_

            Shishiwakamaru backed into the rough tree bark behind him.  A crowd of demons had assembled angrily in front of him, and he was still slightly injured from the fight against the Uremeshi Team's Masked Fighter.

            "What's wrong with you?" snapped one of the demons.

            "Yeah!" said another, "We had so much money bet on your team to win!"

            Shishi sighed and tried to appear calm, "Well it isn't my fault.  I never told you to bet that money."

            One of the demons fingered his large club, "You aren't exactly in a position to talk here, pretty boy."

            "What can I say?  The ladies just can't help but love this face.  It certainly beats all of yours," said Shishi, feigning nonchalance.

            "We'll just see if they can _recognize _it after this," said a gigantic green demon covered in hair.  He took out a club of his own and swung it at Shishi, who barely managed to dodge it.  The other demons followed suit and all started swinging whatever weapons they possessed at him.  If it had been one demon, or just a small crowd, this wouldn't have been a problem, but Shishi estimated that there were probably about a hundred and fifty of them attacking him.  He had some luck; a few of them knocked each other out, but he couldn't get away from all that were remaining, they closed in on him.

            Two swung…three more…another seven now…they were all hitting their mark…twenty two, probably now…oh, they were definitely testing how many people could form a circle directly around such a small being as him…Pain…_pain…pain…_

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                                                                                    _Earth_

            Chika Kurusu sighed as she looked around her.  She was sitting on a bench in a large park in Tokyo trying to do her homework.  But unfortunately, it almost felt too quiet.  After holing herself up alone with her 19-year-old sister for several months--in their 'haunted' house, which always had some noise in it--after she'd nearly let that man…but it didn't matter now.  She was out, she was free, and she truthfully wanted to go back in and quit school again.  Her sister wouldn't care, she was always out getting high or drunk or something like that, and had even told Chika that she didn't need to go back again if she'd didn't want to.  After all, she'd said, when you're 16, how much more can you really have to learn?

_'I just can't think here,' _she thought, packing up her books into her school bag and started walking east, toward the most deserted route back to her house.

            As she walked along, caught up in her thoughts, she probably wouldn't have noticed the bloody, bruised man lying unconscious if he'd been along the side of the path.  Fortunately for him, it just so happened he wasn't.  Chika's foot bumped into something as it plodded along the path, "What the…" she looked down, "AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

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                                                            _Earth, several hours later, Chika's house_

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            _Pain._  That was the last thing Shishiwakamaru remembered feeling.  But suddenly, it was much less than before, suddenly, along with the discomfort, he felt somehow soothed, like everything would be fine.  Thoughts raced across his mind…Why had the pain lessened so much?  Was he dead now?  What would he see if he opened his eyes?  Did he dare to open his eyes?  Yes, he did.  And what he saw amazed him.

            "AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

                                                            _~Downstairs~_

            "Seems like your guest's woken up, little sister," remarked Chika's older sister, Leiko as she smoked a cigarette in the kitchen of the Kurusu household while Chika was making some fruit smoothies.

            "Oh…he's almost screaming like he's never seen a bedroom before," said Chika in puzzled voice.

            "Yeah?  Well you better go stop him before he does anything stupid.  Desperate people are prone to do stupid things," preached Leiko.

            "Uh huh," responded Chika.

_~Upstairs~_

            Shishi looked around the room in an alarmed way.  More questions plagued his mind.  Where was he?  Who's room was this?  Why were all these human bands plastered on the walls?  Damnit he did look like someone from a boy band…stupid Kuwabara for being right…

            Suddenly, the door clicked open, Shishi held his breath and in came…well, it certainly wasn't the hideous monster he'd been expecting, actually, it sort of reminded him of one of his fans, except with peach colored skin.

            "Are you all right?" it asked him.

            "Who _are _you?" asked Shishi nastily, _'And **what **are you?  You look like a human, but I couldn't be in…no…I won't believe it!  I can't believe it!' _he thought, horrified.

            "Oh, gomen nasai, sir.  My name is Chika Kurusu and I found you injured in the park.  What's your name?"

            Shishi glared at her, "Shishiwakamaru.  What's it to you?"

            She giggled, "Shishiwakamaru?  How did you get name like that, huh?"

            "What's wrong with Shishiwakamaru?" he asked indignantly, holding his head high.

            "It's such an odd name, doncha know?" 

            "Well I think Chika is pretty odd too."

            "Obviously.  If you grew up somewhere where it was normal to be called 'Shishiwakamaru' you wouldn't have an inkling of normal names, would you?"

            Shishi blushed and decided it was time to change the subject before he got the urge to kill this annoying creature, "Well where are we?"

            "Tokyo, Japan," she said staring at him blankly, "Where were you when you got knocked out?" she asked.

            _'Then I'm truly in the human world?!  How?!  Why should I have to suffer the mortification of being saved by this simple human?!  I'm so pretty…'_

"A-hem, I did ask you question."

            "Oh yeah, well let me ask you one," growled Shishi testily.

            "What's that?"

            "Got any last requests?" he asked, grabbing her throat.

            Her eyes widened, and Shishi was satisfied to see fear in them.  She shivered under his touch, "W-why are you doing this?" she asked him quietly.

            "You're annoying me, and I don't stand for that."

            "But I…but I just saved you," she said, obviously confused.

            "You also just annoyed me.  Make your point."

            Her look suddenly changed from hurt, scared, and confused to outraged.  How women could do that, Shishi still wasn't sure to this day, "YOU DON'T JUST KILL PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY PISS YOU OFF A LITTLE BIT!" she screamed, and with what must have been every once of strength she possessed, she threw off his hand and punched him into the stomach.  The hit itself wasn't enough to seriously injure him, but the surprise of it knocked him back on to the bed.

            Shishi stared at her, suddenly more intrigued about this human female than annoyed, _'I think I'll give this one a bit more time to live.'       _

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Ah, rather short, but what do you all think?

~TRF


	2. Poor, Poor Suzuki

Disclaimer: I still don't own Yu Yu Hakusho (Le sigh).  I just own my plot, Chika, Leiko, and any other characters that never made appearances in the canon version of YYH.

_Makai_

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            _'So Shishi was last seen around here, huh?' _thought Suzuki, a rather attractive blond man (who wasn't modest about his looks) as he looked around an area.  He had remembered that before they fought the Uremeshi Team, Shishi had said that even on the unlikely chance that they would lose, he wanted to keep the sword he was using.  But, alas, Suzuki had just given the sword to that Kazuma Kuwabara fellow and had thought it best to tell Shishi now before the blue-haired pretty boy started bothering him about it.  Then he'd heard that a horde of demons had attacked him in the area he was now searching.  Apparently, all they would say about the attack was that 'they beat him good', where it had taken place, and that they had dumped him unconscious 'somewhere you would never think to look'.

            Suzuki half didn't even want to be out here searching for Shishi after hearing that he was probably dead by now anyway, but he had no real choice in the matter because when Shishi's legions of fangirls had seen him heading out to talk to Kuwabara and that Kurama guy, they had told him that while he was out there, he'd better search for Shishi or ELSE.  Fangirls could be very scary when provoked, so Suzuki decided to just do what they asked so no one could get hurt.  

            "Shishi!  Shishiwakamaru!" he yelled, "I'm not going to hurt you!  It's me, Suzuki!  If you're alive and conscience, give me a sign!" (AN: Ok, ok, I'm not sure if the Uraotogi Team knew Onji was really Suzuki, but they do in this story!).

            There was a rustle in some nearby bushes, and Suzuki ran to look.  What he saw disappointed him, "Ugh, just some stupid fuzzy animals," he muttered.  Then his eyes wandered a little farther towards a tree a few feet away.  He noticed that the base of the tree was covered in blood, _'Ouch.  Hope that isn't from Shishi…the fangirls will kill me…' _he thought of that sticker that humans sometimes put in their rooms.  The one that said, 'Can't sleep, clowns will eat me'.  He pondered putting a sign that said, 'Can't sleep, fangirls will kill me' on his door.

__

_                                                            Earth, Chika's house_

__

            "What exactly is the purpose of this…this… 'mopping' thing you're asking me to do?" asked Shishi in an irritated voice.  They were in the Kurusu's kitchen.  Leiko had left somewhere, mumbling vaguely about 'party' and 'Tori Jinta's house', so Chika and Shishi were left alone.  As punishment for earlier, Chika had deemed Shishi well enough to help her with the chores and told him to mop up the kitchen.

            Chika gave him a look that said she was as irritated as he was, "You don't know about anything do you?  Where did you live before, some house with servants that did everything for you?"

            "I happen to have grown up in a poor family!  But we still never bothered with any of this 'mopping' crap!" Shishi yelled.

            "Did you have a dirt floor or something?" Chika shot back.

            "No!  Do not mock my family!"

            "Well they were dirt poor and named their children strange things like 'Shishiwakamaru'!  I'd say they sound like eccentrics who couldn't get a job!"

            "I am perfectly capable of killing you and you're making me reach my breaking point!"

            "I guess you want to spend the rest of your life in jail, huh?!"

            "I wouldn't get sent to jail for killing a pathetic human!"

            "You must be eccentric too, like your parents probably were!"

            "You're so naïve!  Must come from being human, huh?"

            Chika stopped, and stared at the man-boy before her long and hard, "You're a human too…" she said slowly, as though speaking to a four-year-old.

            "What an insult!  I am no human!" hollered Shishi, who at this point didn't care what the human knew about Makai or demons or anything as long as she knew what she was up against.

            "Oh then, what does that make you?  A high and mighty god?" asked Chika in a voice that clearly said she was being sarcastic.

            Shishi scrunched up his nose, "No you human fool!  I am a demon!  I was injured in the Demon World, Makai, and somehow I ended up in your pitiful human world!"

            _'Ok, so I'm definitely dealing with a nutcase here.  Should I call the police or the asylum or something?  But it could be that he's just confused from the blood loss…and it looked like he had a head wound…I think I'll just humor him right now,' _Chika thought. 

            "So…" she began, clearing her throat, "Um, how did you get injured?" 

            Shishi suddenly looked ready to kill.  Whether or not he was a nutcase, Chika could tell she had brought up a sensitive topic.

            "Er…just tell me about this demon world then," she said lightly.

            "You don't believe me," said Shishi bluntly.

            Chika panicked, "Wha?!  Eh…no, no, no!  I believe you, yus, yus, yus I do!  I was only curious!"

            Shishi sniffed the air, "It's so easy to smell human emotions.  Fear, anxiety, happiness…the scent of one who is deceiving another," he finished, giving her a pointed stare, "It doesn't even matter what type of demon it is.  You're all so simple that even the lowest level of demon could figure you out."

            "Well how are you supposed to expect me to believe that?" asked Chika brashly.

            "I can convince you, yet," Shishi gave her a wicked smile, and Chika gasped at the sight before her.

                                                _Makai, Suzuki's Quarters_

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            "Oh why me, why me, why me?!" moaned Suzuki as he pressed his body against the door in a vain attempt to keep THEM out.  Of course, by "THEM", he meant the fangirls who were rather…displeased…that he hadn't come back with Shishi.

            "…Shishi, Shishi, Shishi!  We want Shishi, Shishi, Shishi!" they shouted outside, as they had been doing for the last forty-five minutes when Suzuki had come back to inform them that the only thing he'd found was a bloodstained tree.

            _'It isn't my problem that he went and got himself killed!' _thought Suzuki irritably.  He thought of voicing this to the fangirls, but decided that something like that wouldn't be best for his continued health.

            Once Suzuki got past the 'Shishi' chant that the majority of the fangirls were doing, he could hear some other ones in the background screaming death threats and saying they would mess up his face.  One even screamed that she was Toguro's second cousin three times removed and she could sick both of the brothers on him.

            _'Ok, if I want to get away, I need to do it now,' _thought Suzuki anxiously, _'One…two…three…' _and Suzuki bolted from the door, punched through the window in his room and leapt through, falling the amazing distance of…two and a half feet.

            _'Well that was anti-climactic,' _he thought disappointedly, getting up and brushing himself off.  He suddenly looked up into the sky and saw a huge burst of energy flying up towards the heavens, _'That's Uremeshi's power, huh?' _he thought.  He heard a screaming noise behind him and noticed the fangirls bursting into his room and through his window after him, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!"

                                                            _Earth, Chika's house_

__

            "Well then," said Shishi in a satisfied voice, changing back into his more human-like appearance, "I seem to remember someone doubting my story."

            "N-no doubts…not anymore," muttered Chika in a terrified voice, _'Why did I have to play 'Good Samaritan' and bring him home from the park?  What have I gotten myself into now?'_

Well, well, looks like Chika is having doubts about bringing a certain demon home.  I dunno why…demonic origin or not, he's still huggable and adorable.  *Takes out a Shishi plushy and glomps it*.  Oh yeah…and poor, poor Suzuki.  I'm glad I'm not his shoes right now.  Wouldn't you hate to have to explain to a hoard of raving fangirls that you couldn't find the object of their admiration?

~TRF


	3. Let's Be Suzuki's Fangirls Instead!

I'm back again with another new chapter!  And-

Kurama: Ms. TRF, with all do respect, must you say pointless things before the start of the chapter?

You're exactly right Kurama.  I'll wait until after the chapter *smiles at Kurama lovingly*

Heero: *Watching from bushes* Damnit, TRF never listens to me like that!  Why is she going all gaga over that Kurama?!  
  


Karasu: *Appears beside Heero with hearts in eyes* Because Kurama is soooo delicious!

Heero: Er…right _

Disclaimer: I don't own any official characters, just all my original ones.  Oh course you knew that already right?  Unless I'm such a good author that you can't tell the difference anymore…no?  Drat.

                                                            _Earth, Chika's house_

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            "Hello?  Hellooo…human?" said Shishi, waving a hand in front of Chika's face. Right after she'd said she had no doubts about his story, she'd spaced out and he couldn't bring her back to earth.

            _'Oh I know!' _he thought.  Then he proceeded to make some odd noises, and turned to Chika, "You know what human?  That was another language.  I just said some very appalling things about your mother."

            Chika snapped back to reality, "WHAT?!?!" she brought up a frying pan out of nowhere and clobbered the hapless demon with it, "Thank you hammer space," she muttered.

            Shishi had no clue what 'hammer space' was, but didn't want to appear ignorant, so he decided to try and make a retort, "Hammer space huh?  Wouldn't you pull a hammer from hammer space?" he asked lamely.

            Chika looked at him approvingly, "Good point.  Your head is much too hard for a frying pan," she promptly threw the frying pan aside and pulled a hammer, whacking Shishi in the head, "What did you say about my mother?" she growled.

            Shishi shrugged, "Oh nothing really.  That's not even a language.  You humans have your ire raised too easily.  I just needed to bring you back from lala-land."

            "IDIOT!" she screamed, whacking him again.

            "Damn…what happened to demons instilling fear into the hearts of millions?" moaned Shishi.

                                                            _Makai_

__

"Gerroff!" moaned Suzuki to the hundreds of fangirls who had jumped him, demanding to know where their 'beloved' Shishi was.  They obeyed and got off, giving him evil scowls.

"This had better be good," growled a dog demon woman, whom Suzuki remembered Shishi had once pointed out to him as the president of his fan club.

            "I don't know where he is!" yelled Suzuki, "I looked and all I found was a bloody tree!  And I'm being literal about the 'bloody' part!  He's probably gone, now leave me alone!"

            "Oh yeah right," said another fangirl, "You expect us to believe that?  Rumors don't really lie that often and the newest one says you're keeping Shishi in your room for a sex slave!"

            Suzuki's eyes bugged out, "WHERE DO YOU PEOPLE GET THESE IDEAS?!" he shouted.

            "They aren't ideas, they're reality," said yet another fangirl snottily.

            "Uh, hello!  Weren't you just _in_ my room?  Did you see any gagged Shishi?  NO!" he yelled, "And that also doesn't work for one other MAJOR reason!"

            The dog demon glared at him, "Oh?  And what's that?"

            "I AM COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY **_STRAIGHT_**!!!" he screamed (Wow.  Bold words and everything).

            "Prove it!" snapped a fangirl.  There was a murmur of agreement among them all.

            "Oh fine, if I must," grumbled Suzuki.  He grabbed the nearest fangirl and began to make out with her.

            When he let her go, she began to blush right down to the tips of her fingers, "Wow," she murmured.  Then she turned around to face the rest of them, "Hey everyone!  Let's be Suzuki's fangirls instead!" she screamed with hearts in her eyes.

            They seemed to think this over…for half a second, "Ok!" they replied enthusiastically.  Out of nowhere, they pulled out 'I Love Suzuki' banners and all turned on him with hearts in their eyes, "Oh Suzuki!" they screamed, "We love you Suzuki!" they looked ready to glomp him.

            Suzuki let out a high-pitched 'mommy' and began to run for dear life.  They chased him through the streets screaming his name in a loving tone of voice, _'They're even worse now than they were before!' _he thought, terrified.  Oh how had Shishi ever survived this?

                                                            _Earth, Chika's house_

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            Shishi sneezed.  Damn.  Probably some bastard talking about him over in Makai...

                                                                        _Makai_

__

            Hiei was training, trying to completely master a technique.  The author can't remember the exact name right now, so we'll just call it a technique.  Suddenly, he saw a screaming man run past him with legions of girls running after him screaming, "We love you Suzuki!".

            "Help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" hollered the man, throwing Hiei a frantic look before running out of sight.

            Hiei stared for a long, long while.  How odd.  Oh well.  He got back to training.

                                                            _Earth, you guessed it, Chika's house_

            "What do humans do for fun?" asked Shishi in a bored tone of voice, staring around the huge Kurusu mansion.

            "What do demons do for fun?" asked Chika, in an equally bored tone.

            "We pick the wings of flies, dissect cats, and break the legs of helpless puppy dogs," answered Shishi sarcastically.

            "Weirdos," muttered Chika, not even paying attention to the sarcasm in Shishi's voice.

            "I wonder how long it will be before my fangirls find me to whisk me back to Makai," said Shishi idly.

                                                            _Makai_

__

            All of the fangirls suddenly sneezed.  Damn.  Probably some bastard talking about them badly right now. 

                                                            _Earth, you know where_

__

            "How did you ever get fangirls?" mumbled Chika.

            Shishi sighed dramatically, "Go fetch me a mirror."

            "Get your own damn mirror."

            "If I say to fetch me a mirror, then fetch me a mirror!"

            "If you expect me to do everything for you just because you're a big scary demon, then you're out of luck.  Try the small kid down the street, he's afraid of finding monsters under his bed, and his own shadow creeps him out."

            Shishi gave an aggravated sigh and got up to go look for a mirror, "Stupid lazy humans…can't do anything…" he muttered as he walked out.

                                                            _Makai, the pages of Suzuki's journal_

__

            _Dear journal, something absolutely horrible happened today!  Well, the day started off alright since I was able to deliver the Fruit of Former Life and the Sword of Trials to 2 of Team Uremeshi's fighters, but while I was out there, the fangirls of my former, possibly deceased teammate, Shishiwakamaru, demanded that I go look for their pretty boy. _

_ It seemed like I was searching the area where it happened **FOREVER.  **But where they satisfied when I came back all tired and worn out?  Noooooooo!!!  They assembled outside my room screaming that they wanted Shishi, so I eventually broke out, and put up a valiant struggle, but they caught me, and I found out that they thought the most **LUDICROUS **_things!  _I won't say what they thought right now because it is very insulting to I, the Beautiful Suzuki, but it was bad.  I proved them wrong with a rather simple…uh…test, but the problem was, when they saw how hot and manly I was, they decided to me my fangirls!  They chased me around for the rest of the day, and even now I have some demon security guards right outside my room to keep them away!  _

_The only question is why didn't they notice how beautiful I was sooner?  But after experiencing life with fangirls, I'm rather glad they didn't.  Do I, the Beautiful Suzuki, have any closing statement on this?  Yes, I'm glad you asked.  They are…**I HATE YOU SHISHIWAKAMARU!!!!!**_

**__**

                        _Oh must we go through this every time there's a screen change? _  

            Chika listened to things shattering around her, and a certain demon yelling out a cussword and saying something about stupid things in mansions that are hard to find…hmm… _'Gee, I hope he knows he could just get a mirror from the top shelf in the bathroom instead of searching every room for one…yeees, I'm sure he does, he must just enjoy doing things the difficult way,' _thought Chika with a self-satisfied smirk, pretending to be unaware of the demon's folly.


	4. It's Not Like That!

Well, here we go again…I've only gotten two reviews as of the last time I checked, but oh well.  I mean, I don't exactly HATE people who say they won't continue if they don't get such and such amount of reviews, but they annoy me a bit because you're supposed to write because you want to and not because other people do or don't want you to.

Kurama: And that was "TRF's Insight of the Day", brought to you by me, her temporary muse, Kurama.

Heero: *Still watching from bushes* Grr…this Kurama can get her to give insights too!  What makes HIM such a great muse and me not?

Karasu: Kurama is still delicious.

Heero: You disturb me.

Disclaimer: Yadda, yadda, yadda…Yu Yu Hakusho…yadda yadda…not mine…yadda, yadda…Chika, Leiko, plot or lack of therefore…yadda, yadda…mine…yadda, yadda.

_Earth, Chika's house_

__

            Chika was calmly leafing through an issue of Shonen Jump when Shishi came downstairs panting, but holding a hand mirror triumphantly, "Oh?" said Chika, pretending to be confused, "Wherever did you come across that?"

            "On the top shelf of the upstairs bathroom," responded Shishi, absolutely radiating a prideful glow.  Chika started laughing.  Shishi frowned, "What exactly are you laughing about?!"

            "I could've told you there was one there!" she said giggling.

            Shishi paused, then replied, "How do you go about finding yourself hammer space?"

            "Unfortunately, only women can use hammer space.  You might be girly enough, though," said Chika, grabbing a few locks of his long hair and fingering it slowly in a way that gave one the impression that she was investigating every last particle.

            Shishi glared, "Just because I'm prettier than you, it doesn't give you means to crack jokes about me."

            "What do you mean, 'prettier than you'?!" screeched Chika.

            "Hmm…let's compare me and you…" Shishi took out the hand mirror and held it up so it reflected both their faces, "Hair: Me: Long, smooth, shiny azure hair, carefully kept free of split ends," he looked at himself admiringly, "You: short hair kept at ear length, very messy right now, dull black," Chika huffed, "Eyes: Me: Unusual magenta color, very pretty and almond-shaped.  Fangirls think most highly of them," he smiled, "You: Boring, ordinary black eyes.  'Nuff said," Chika snarled, "Chest: Me: Being a male, I obviously have no breasts, but I do have very nice abs," Shishi took a close look at Chika before finally saying, "You: A cup.  I've seen kids younger than you that are fuller," Chika twitched and pulled out a mallet, hitting Shishi into a wall.

            "Just because I'm better looking…" muttered Shishi, before blacking out.

            Chika walked over to him, "Darn.  I hit him where he was injured before and it seems to have knocked him out.  Too bad," she said sarcastically.

                                    _Koenma's Office, wherever it is_

__

            "Botan?" asked Koenma, looking at the ferry girl who'd come to take Genkai away to the afterlife.

            "Y-yes, Koenma-Sama?" asked Botan sniffling, still sad about Genkai's death.

            "After you get back from taking Genkai, could you quick check something out for me in Ningenkai?"

            "What is it?" asked Botan, suddenly interested.

            "You remember Shishiwakamaru, correct?" said Koenma.  At Botan's nod, he moved on, "Well, I've got it on good authority that he's slinking around Ningenkai somewhere.  Some irate people beat him up, but I would've known if he were dead.  I finally was able to catch one of the perpetrators and after using our worst torture method, we got it out of him that they hid him in Ningenkai.  We think a certain woman named Leiko Kurusu may have information, and right now she happens to be at a party.  Could you check it out?  The party is being held by one of our informants, who goes by the name Tori Jinta in Ningenkai."

            Botan nodded, "I guess so, Koenma-Sama.  Why do you think Shishiwakamaru hasn't sought someone's help?"

            "I can only guess that he's planning something…" murmured Koenma.

                                    _Earth, Yusuke's house…NOT. _

__

            "Wake up, Shishi!" growled Chika.  She'd been trying to wake him for the last fifteen minutes after putting him into a bed and leaving him out cold for an hour.

            "Mmmmmmph…mururmpher…phe…" mumbled Shishi into the pillows, staying put.

            "Up!" she shrieked.  With no intelligent response from him, she walked to the end of the bed and started to pull his feet out of the bed, but he clamped his hands firmly on to the bars at the front of the bed and refused to let go.

            "I'll be back…oh, I'll be back…" she hissed, walking out of the room and going to her own to get something.

            "Muhahahaha…" laughed Shishi, face still buried in the pillows.

            Chika dug for something in her room, and then pulled out a mysteriously shaped object, "Yeeees…" she said maniacally, then began to walk back to Shishi's new room.

            _'Idiot human.  She can't get me up if I don't wanna get up,' _thought Shishi triumphantly.

            Chika was also feeling triumphant.  She walked up to the front of the bed and got down near Shishi's ear.  Then she took out the object, which was actually a rather loud horn, and honked it as loud as she could.  The result was amazing.

            "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Shishi shouted, leaping up, "Where's the explosion?!" he asked frantically.  Then he looked at the device Chika was holding and the satisfied smirk on her face, "Oh haha, very funny," grumbled Shishi irritably.

            "Now that you're up," she began cheerfully, "Come down with me to the kitchen.  I need to change these bandages," she said, gesturing to the blood-covered bandages on Shishi's chest, arms, legs, and head.

            "What's wrong with them?" grumbled Shishi.

            "Well duh.  They're soiled and they've been on since last evening when I found you.  You'll get infected if I don't change them."

            "Give me the bandages, I can change them myself," snapped Shishi.

            Chika gave him an even stare, "Do YOU have a little bit of training in first aid?"

            "Why do I need one?  You just rip these off and tie on new ones."

            "It isn't that simple!  I need to put some anti-infection stuff on the wounds too, and you have to put on the bandages just right!"

            "You probably put them on wrong too, so what would it hurt?" retorted Shishi.

            "Leiko made me take a full summer of first aid classes two years ago!"

            "You can forget a lot in that space of time."

            "Oh just come here!" Chika screamed, as Shishi shot out of the room.  She was just barely able to make him out running down the stairs.

            "Make me!" he taunted, sounding rather like a five-year-old child who didn't want a bath or some other trivial thing.

            "You watch me!" she cried, grabbing a role of bandages and the anti-infection cream, chasing him around downstairs until she saw him dash out the door, "Oooh…you are dead!"

            Shishi scurried around the trees and shrubbery, but apparently got a bit too cocky and slowed down.  Just as he neared the street, Chika jumped him and began trying to rip off the bandages, barely aware of Shishi kicking and yelling underneath her.

            "Look at them mommy!" chirped a little girl on a walk with her mother, pointing to Shishi and Chika.

            "You teenagers make me sick," snapped the child's mother, covering the little girl's eyes as they walked away…apparently thinking something rather dirty was going on.

            This caused Shishi to pause, "What did that woman mean…?" he asked curiously.

            Chika just continued to rip off bandages as though possessed by some unseen force.

            "Get a room!" shouted a man riding by in a convertible.

            "Human!  What are these idiots talking about?!" growled Shishi, hating to be uninformed about something.

            Chika suddenly stopped, and began to turn red, "…Let's calmly continue this inside…" she murmured with wide eyes, taking her roll of bandages and anti-infection cream in one hand, and yanking Shishi to his feet with the other.

            "What were they talking about?!" demanded Shishi, pushing his heels into the ground.

            "S-sexual things…" moaned Chika vaguely, "They thought we were doing…sexual things…"

            Shishi's eyes also widened, "I'll kill them," he whispered.

            "C'mon Mr. Murder-Spree-Wanna-Be," said Chika apprehensively, not wanting to hear anyone else make less-than-accurate-accusations.

I don't really have anything else to say…for once.

Kurama: Wow, I hear that with her, that's surprising.

It is…you're a lovely muse Kurama, but you know, you just aren't Heero…

Heero: *In bushes, smirks triumphantly* I knew she missed me.  I'll just get ready to make my reappearance-

But Heero still needs to learn a lesson!  The stupid bribe-taking jerk!

Heero: Ergh…it was only one bribe, would she drop it already?!

Anywho, like I said, I'll continue even if I don't get many reviews, but I still do enjoy getting them!

~TRF


	5. The Frying Pan Loves You

Here we go!  I think you know the drill!

Disclaimer: Why?!  Why must I say such a mentally damaging thing?!  

Counselor: There, there, go on…*Pats TRF reassuringly*

I-I…don't…own…Yu…Yu…Hakusho…or…Shishi…*Begins to sob hysterically and runs out of the room*

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                                                _Earth, Chika's house_

__

            "These human video games are insanely easy," bragged Shishi as he beat Bowser in Super Mario World on Chika's Super Nintendo.

            Chika glowered at him, "I'm sorry if not all of us possess such high levels of hand-eye coordination," she grumbled sarcastically.

            "Well naturally, as a _master _swordsman I would have hand-eye coordination.  If I didn't, I wouldn't have lasted long," said Shishi as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

            "La-tee-DA!" snapped Chika irritably.

            Shishi smirked, "Looks like a certain human is a bit angry because she obviously in the presence of one who outclasses her in every possible way," Shishi took out the hand mirror from before and smiled at his reflection.

            "Narcissus," snarled Chika.

            "I beg your pardon?" said Shishi, raising an eyebrow, "What is a 'Narcissus'?"

            Chika grinned, "So you don't know everything!" she appeared rather self-satisfied.

            "I don't know about stupid human things!  That's nothing!  Now what is this 'Narcissus'?" asked Shishi once again, trying to make the subject change not seem so abrupt by acting casual.

            Chika laughed a bit before starting, "Narcissus was a Greek man who fell in love with his reflection."

            Shishi crossed his arms over his chest and glared, then began to mutter something about 'in a world like this, the only one as perfect as me _is _my reflection…'.

            "You are SO twisted," muttered Chika.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

                                                _Earth, Tori Jinta's house_

__

            The music blared in the background, and multi-colored lights bounced off the walls.  Some people were dancing and others, including Leiko Kurusu were standing over by a table with concessions of all kinds, including alcohol, which Leiko was consuming rapidly.  She didn't notice anything odd about the blue haired female that walked over to her.

            "Want ssssssome?" she asked in a slurred voice.

            The blue haired girl, who was, of course, Botan politely refused, and then decided that Leiko probably wasn't thinking straight, so it'd be a good time to pursue the topic of Shishiwakamaru, "So, have you had any…people staying at your house recently?" asked Botan unsurely.

            It seemed to take Leiko all of five minutes to realize Botan was talking to her, "Oh yeah.  There's some weeeeeeeeiiiiiiird guy with long blue hair.  My little sissy, Chika, found 'im beaten up in the park an' brought 'im home," ok, you can basically remember that Leiko is talking all slurred-like right?  I don't actually have to kill my spell checker by writing everything slurred?  Good.

            "Is he still there?" Botan probed her.

            "Uh-huh.  I need to go to the bathroom now…" moaned Leiko, sauntering away.

            _'Ah well.  I got enough information,' _thought Botan, _'Now I'll need to see Shishi about what exactly he's doing.'_

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                                                _Earth, Chika's house_

__

            "What do we do now, exactly?" wonder Shishi aloud.

            "Oh gee, I dunno.  You beat all of our games for Super Nintendo, Nintendo 64, Gamecube, Gameboy, Gameboy Advance, Gameboy Advance SP, Playstation, Playstation 2, Xbox, and the computer!  Fun-sucker," muttered Chika lowly.

            "I can't help it if I'm just that good!" protested Shishi vainly.

            "That still makes you a fun-sucker…you…fun-sucker!" said Chika er, lamely -_-;

            "Oh my god, how _dare _I be good at stupid human games?  I must be the absolute _worst _being in the universe," said Shishi sarcastically.

            "The frying pan loves you…I think it wants to come out and play," grumbled Chika testily, hand ready to grab the frying pan from hammer space at any given moment.

            "Tell the 'frying pan' to get a goddamn life and stop being jealous of my superiority," said Shishi, obviously using 'frying pan' as a substitute for 'Chika'.

            Chika caught on quickly, "The 'frying pan' says that at least-she…er, I mean it, hasn't ever made a career of something as dead as swordsmanship.  Talk about no life."

            "I'll have you know that swordsmanship is VERY much alive!" yelled an irate Shishi.

            "Me?  I'm only telling you what the frying pan says.  Don't go blaming me," said Chika innocently.

            "And you called _my _family eccentrics earlier," muttered Shishi.

            Ding-dong, rang the doorbell.  Wow, that felt completely and utterly retarded to type.

            "I'll get it.  You seem to be in need of a few more 'people skills' before I let you anywhere near the outside," said Chika.

            "Before _you _let me outside?!  I am perfectly capable of going outside at any time I feel like it!" protested Shishi.

            Chika opened the door, and there stood a bubbly-looking woman with a half-hearted smile on her face, "Um, excuse me, but who are you?" asked Chika with confusion evident in her voice.

            "Hello!  My name is Botan, and I was wondering if a certain 'Shishiwakamaru' was here right now?" asked Botan.

            "And…why do you want to speak to him?" inquired Chika, raising both eyebrows in a suspicious fashion, "Are you a…fangirl person?"

            Botan rapidly shook her head, "Oh no!  You've just misunderstood entirely, I'm afraid.  I'm-"

            "One of Koenma's suckers," finished Shishi, appearing beside the door very suddenly.

            Botan frowned, "No.  I happen to be the Grim Reaper!" 

            Chika stared at Botan for a moment before breaking down into hysterical laughter.

            "Uh-huh.  However you want to fancy it up," mumbled Shishi rolling his eyes.

            Botan grabbed her oar from thin air and whacked Shishi, "This is serious business!" she screamed.

            Shishi rubbed his head and glared.  Under any normal circumstance, he would've just asked his pursuer out with a charming smile, but he knew Botan was fully dedicated to Koenma and Team Urameshi, so it was basically futile, "And what have I done that was so wrong?  Shouldn't you be punishing the people that left my beautiful body to rot in the humans' wasteland?!" he demanded.

            Chika stopped laughing, "Excuse me?  _Wasteland_?"

            "Let's see," began Botan, "First of all, you've told a human about Makai and demons, and even given her a demonstration.  I don't know how we're going to erase all of that from her memory…"

            "ERASE?!" demanded Chika frantically.

            "And then, despite being rather capable of alerting us to your whereabouts, you just lounged here doing nothing…"

            Shishi looked scandalized, "How was I supposed to contact Mr. High-and-Mighty-Britches-Koenma?  Stand in the middle of this human's yard with a large sign that said, '**Help!  I am a demon trapped in the human world!  Any lifts to Makai would be most appreciated**'?!"

            Botan shrugged, "I don't know.  That's just what Koenma said to tell you."

            "ERASE?!" screeched Chika once again.

            "Well of course, we can't just let a human wander around knowing all these things," remarked Botan as though it were obvious.

            "You can't erase my memories!" yelled Chika.  Then, surprisingly, she grabbed Botan and threw her in the hallway closet and blocked the door shut with anything and everything she could find.

            Shishi stared, "Uh…nice fast thinking, but you know that she can contact Koenma from there?" he asked.

            "Nobody will erase my memories!" growled Chika in a possessed voice.

            "Humans scare me sometimes," mumbled Shishi, "Especially female humans."

            "WHAT WAS THAT?!" screamed Chika, turning around, frying pan in hand.

            "I rest my case," moaned Shishi dejectedly, looking at the frying pan with 'I'm doomed' written on his face.

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You know, I'm getting these chapters out so fast even I'm amazed by it!  I usually stall and twiddle my thumbs for months before I ever get around to updating stories!  I guess Kurama is a very good muse.  *Smiles at Kurama with hearts in eyes*

Kurama: Uh…*Doesn't know quite what to say to this unwanted attraction*

*Snaps out of it immediately* Well, also, just a bit of quick, shameless advertising, if you like DBZ, could you check out my fanfic, the "We-Must-Be-Out-Of-Our-Tiny-Minds Road Trip"?  I swear I'm working on getting chapter eight out soon, and the only people that seem to be reviewing now are the people in it, whom I notify by e-mail when I update, and it's a bit frustrating knowing I have no new readers.  Not something that makes me want to quit, because as you know, I think you should write for yourself, but still…I felt like advertising that in case anyone was interested.

Until the next update,

~TRF


	6. Staying in Ningenkai?

Well, here I am again, back for more!  *Grins*  About the only other thing I think I need to say right now is that my school starts on August 26th, but until then I'm going to try to overwork myself on this and one of my other fics.  

Disclaimer: Yu Yu Hakusho not TRF's property.  TRF not own Yu Yu Hakusho.  Wish she owned it, TRF does.  TRF not know why TRF is talking in third person.

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                                                _Koenma's Office, place, thing…yeah_

            "Sir!  Koenma-Sama!" cried that blue ogre dude who's always around Koenma.

            Koenma looked annoyed, "What is it, ogre?"

            "Well, sir, Botan just opened up a communication link through that compact that you sent her…and it appears that some female human who was rather…unpleased…with the thought of having her memory erased locked Botan in a closet and pushed a bunch of items in front of it so that she can't get out."

            "What about Shishiwakamaru?" asked Koenma.

            "I'll go check," replied the ogre, walking away and coming back a few minutes later, "Botan says, and I quote, 'How dare you think of that stupid pretty boy when I'm claustrophobic and trapped in a small closet!'".

            Koenma gave an exasperated sigh, "Just bring our side of communication with her to me."

            Ogre widened his eyes, "But Koenma-Sama!  That thing easily weighs five times as much as me!"

            "Just bring it to me!" shouted Koenma.

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                                                _Chika's house_

__

            "Now explain to me, how can Botan communicate with this, ruler guy?" asked Chika threateningly.

            Shishi was curled on the floor covering his hands with his head, "Koenma's people always carry something used to get back to him in case something goes wrong…now don't give my beautiful head anymore bumps!" growled Shishi.

            "Fair enough.  What do we do if he comes hear?  I mean, how are we supposed to subdue a guy like that?" Chika was obviously envisioning Koenma as some big, tall, burly guy.

            Shishi started laughing, "You think he just comes down hear and makes house calls?  What are you, n-"

            Ding-dong.

            "Should we answer it?" asked Chika, eyes widening.

            Shishi shrugged, "How am I supposed to know?  I don't have the ability to see through walls, you know."

            Ding-dong.

            Chika turned to face the demon, "Why don't you get it?"

            "I have better things to do," replied Shishi, giving an exaggerated yawn.

            "Like what?!" demanded Chika.

            "In Makai, I never had to get the door.  I always had someone to do it for me," said Shishi, as though this were supposed to explain everything.

            "Well whaddya know?" Chika looked around in mock surprise, "Could it be…this isn't Makai?!"

            "The point is, when I have you around, why do I need to do menial chores?" asked Shishi, "When you were desperate before, you punched me pretty hard for an average human, and you're now telling me that you can't turn a knob and open a damn piece of wood?"

            Ding-dong.

            "It's not that!  I locked the blue haired girl up in my closet!  What if the thing out there wants to rip me limb from limb?!" cried Chika hysterically.

            Ding-dong.  Ding-dong.

            "Demons and the non-entity beings of spirit world are not as primitive and savage as you make them out to be," retorted Shishi simply.

            Ding-dong.  Ding-dong.  Ding-dong.  DING-DONG!!!!!!!  

            "They're getting impatient.  Why don't you look through a window or something?" suggested Shishi in a bored voice.

            Chika gave a slight nod, and then dove to the ground and began to snake her way towards the window as though she were on some sort of top-secret mission.  Shishi rolled his eyes.

            Then Chika looked out, "It's just a toddler in a weird outfit!" she proclaimed, looking outraged, "I was afraid of some kid!" she ran to open to the door, not realizing she had completely missed the blue being behind the *cough* toddler.

            Shishi's eyes widened, "No don't open-" but it was too late.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

                                                _Suzuki's new treehouse_

__

            "I thought I wouldn't get away from them that time," said Suzuki, utmost relief apparent in his voice as he stood inside a place that was supposed to be a fancy treehouse hideout for him, but looked much more like a box with random colors painted on the walls.

            "Where is he?" he heard a fangirl yell from below.

            Another pointed toward the tree Suzuki was in, "Hey!  There's a big box up there!  Maybe that's where he is!"

            _'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!' _thought Suzuki frantically.  Alas, it was too late.  The fangirls quickly climbed up the tree and burst in through the door, catching a terrified Suzuki about to jump out a window.  He jumped anyway, and just when it looked like he would be out of their reach, one's hand flew threw the window and grabbed him.  

            "You poor baby!  You almost got hurt!" cried the one who'd caught him, completely oblivious to the fact that Suzuki had _meant _to fall.

            As the last of the fangirls climbed into his treehouse, Suzuki suddenly realized that the building was NOT meant to hold so many people, or rather, demons.  This seemed to jinx it, and the whole tree house began to fall apart at the seams, leaving Suzuki and everyone else to go flying out of it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

                                                _Chika's house_

__

            "Hello.  I am Koenma," said the toddler, stepping into Chika's house.  The ogre followed.

            Chika's eyes bulged out, "WHAT?!"

            Shishi nodded slowly, "That is indeed, Koenma."

            "No way!  A baby can't rule the spirit world!  I don't believe it!" cried Chika.

            Koenma gave her a glare, "Yes indeed, I can rule the spirit world, and you'd better start believing it!  I am many hundreds of years older than yourself.  Oh, and to both of you," he looked at Shishi and Chika, "I am Koenma-_Sama_."

            "I am _not_ addressing a little kid playing dress-up with a _Sama_," muttered Chika obstinately.

            "Forgive me Koenma-Sama, now please, take me back to Makai!" yelled Shishi, practically throwing himself at Koenma's feet, deciding to go back and get on the deity's good side, rather than be too proud to accept help and argue with him.

            Koenma began to laugh, "Did Genkai beat you a bit too hard at the tournament?  You're being unusually humble."

            Shishi clapped his hands together and looked at Koenma desperately, using every ounce of his willpower not to lash out at the last comment, "Oh please, Koenma-Sama!"

            Koenma began thinking it over.  When he'd come, he'd expected Shishiwakamaru to be yelling that he'd never leave, and that Koenma wouldn't make him because he had plans to torture some humans later.  And his punishment would have been to be dragged back to Makai.  But now…he was begging to go back.  And in spite of his acting very meek now, Koenma had the feeling that this wouldn't last.  He got a sinister grin on his face.  What better way to teach him a permanent lesson than to keep him in Ningenkai with wards that prevented him from using his demonic powers if he planned to use them for evil?  Yeeeees…Koenma didn't realize that he had begun emitting an evil chuckle until Jorge (That's the ogre's name, I believe) began to mumble about master having another bad idea.

            "What was that ogre?!" yelled Koenma, referring to Jorge saying he had 'another' bad idea.

            "Nothing Koenma-Sama!" yelped Jorge, straightening up and looking at Koenma alertly.

            "What's going to happen to me?" asked Shishi in a small voice.

            Koenma commenced trying to look wise and sagely.  This caused Chika to break into a few snickers, "I have decided, through careful inspection of the situation, that you, Shishiwakamaru, will remain here in Ningenkai with wards preventing you from using your demonic powers evilly until I say otherwise."

            Shishi's jaw dropped, "B-But…you're…m-m-making me stay?"

            Chika's jaw also dropped, "Y-You're…m-m-making him stay?" she asked at the same time as Shishi.  They both wore horrified expressions, although, both had an entirely different reason for the expression.

            "I believe it will be a…learning experience for both of you.  Koenma has spoken," replied Koenma nodding.  Without another word, Koenma and Jorge walked out the door.  

            It wasn't until the two of them were back in spirit world, that ogre remarked, "I feel like we're forgetting something…"

            The two of them turned to face each other with shocked expressions, "BOTAN!" they screamed.

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Hiya once again!  I feel like this chapter wasn't the funniest, but ya know, I basically created it to make an explanation for why Shishi hadn't just been picked up and brought back to Makai.  Now you have your explanation.  It's because Koenma is secretly rather evil.

See ya at the next update!

~TRF


	7. Damn That PMS!

Hello again!  My, my, I think I'm remembering why I usually don't update this much.  I have nothing to say!

Disclaimer: Sam I Am tried to make me eat green eggs and ham, so I threw my disclaimer at him to stall him while I ran away.  I think he still has it.

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                                                _Chika's house_

__

            "I COMPLETELY FORGOT MY HOMEWORK!" yelled Chika suddenly, dashing upstairs to retrieve her book bag and finish it, since she had school in the morning.  She'd been downstairs watching some crazy show about a kid who was brought back from the dead and had weird new powers.  Shishi was sulking in his room, simply staring at the wall (Which had a mirror on it, so this could have also had something to do with it) and refusing to say anything to anyone until he was to be brought back to Makai.

            Chika dashed into his room, "THIS IS _YOUR _FAULT YOU KNOW!  IF YOU HADN'T BEEN LYING IN THE STUPID PARK NEARLY DEAD, I'D HAVE NEVER FORGOTTEN!" she screamed, immaturity rang in her voice, but she didn't care.  She just wanted someone to blame beside herself.

            It seemed as though the pretty boy wasn't what you would call even halfway decent when it came to keeping a vow of silence, "Yeah?  Well I hope you can't finish it, and your teacher gets extremely mad at you," he said grumpily.

            "Do you know how to be anything other than I jerk?!" she snapped.

            Shishi sneered, "Do you know the meaning of 'maturity'?  Maybe when you've discovered it, I won't act…as much…this way."

            "Asshole!" cried Chika, stomping downstairs to finish her homework.

            "Bitch," muttered Shishi, not going out of his way for her to hear him.  He looked back at his reflection, "Oh wakamaru," he said sadly to it, "that stupid human made your hair tense up," he grabbed a brush and began to comb his hair.  Can we say 'conceited', folks?  Yes, I believe we can.

            "Can't believe…certain idiots…bastards…" muttered Chika downstairs in the kitchen, working on an essay about women's rights that was due tomorrow.  Unfortunately, due to her current mood, the essay wasn't really turning out about women's rights.  It was turning out to be more about how evil and stupid men were, and how they should have been the ones oppressed, not women.  Oh well.  It wasn't like the teacher was expecting much anyway, the only subjects Chika had work above medium par in were biology, math, and art.  This was for history.

            "Why do humans even need this 'school' anyway?" Shishi asked his reflection, _'Because they're morons,' _he answered to himself, _'Because most of them wouldn't have the desire to learn anything unless it was law, so that's how they made it.  Because they can't stand on their own two feet until they get this 'diploma' thing from some sort of elevated school…thing…'  _(Note: Bye 'elevated school', Shishi was thinking of high school.  The two words are synonyms and Shishi's a demon who'd never even gave humans a second though before, so he doesn't think it makes much difference which you use).

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

                                                _Team Urameshi's room for the tournament_

__

            Suzuki bashed down the door of the room, and ran in, hoping for salvation.  He quickly pushed the door back up, making it appear as it normally did as the fangirls ran down the hall searching for him and wondering where he'd gone.  When the last of them rushed by, he relaxed and let the door lean against the wall.  Suddenly, he heard a toilet flushing and Kuwabara walked out of the room's bathroom.  Uh-oh.  He'd thought the room was empty…

            Kuwabara glared at him, "What are you doing here?!"

            Suzuki decided that Kuwabara probably had a rather large ego and decided to try to the 'groveling at his feet' plan, "You must help me!" he cried, rushing over to Kuwabara and dropping on his knees.

            "Uh…with what?" asked Kuwabara, raising an eyebrow.

            "It's…it's horrible…I can't put words to the devastation…they plague me…they won't keep away…make them go away!" sobbed Suzuki melodramatically, breaking into hopeless tears and clinging to the bottoms of Kuwabara's pants.

            Kuwabara sighed deeply, "How'm I supposed to help if you don't tell me what's wrong?  And why are you asking me anyway?" he asked suspiciously.

            "Well…um…I gave you the sword…and now you need to do something for me?" offered Suzuki weakly, "and the problem is…" he looked around the room wildly, as though checking for spies, "fangirls," he whispered.

            The large orange-haired man broke into hysterical laughter, "You can't keep away some girls!?" he asked, positively rolling on the ground with laughter.

            "Not some…there's millions!  And they're everywhere!  And-"

            Sadly, a few girls walked by at that moment and they saw Suzuki, "Look everyone!  There he is!" one of them shouted.  Kuwabara and Suzuki heard a loud, "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!   YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!" from down the hallway and a mass of girl moved down the hallway, causing the floor to shake in a way that would have broken the Richter Scale.

            Suzuki looked like a deer in headlights.

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                                                _Chika's house_

__

            At about 1:30 AM, just as Chika was finishing her homework, she saw her sister stagger through the door, back from Tori Jinta's party.  Chika scowled, being angry at generally the entire world right now, _'Stupid Leiko.  She can go party all day and all night while I'm stuck hear being visited by grim reapers that want to erase my memory, tiny gods, blue ogres, and being forced to practically baby-sit some vain demon!  And then I need to do about five hours worth of homework!  Why does she have it so easy?  It's not fair…'_

"Why are you up?" asked Leiko, staggering over to the kitchen table where Chika was.

            "Because unlike some people, I have homework that needs to be done!  I don't just run around all day doing whatever I damn feel like!" growled Chika.

            "You about at that time of the month again?" inquired Leiko, trying to sit down, but being so hopelessly drunk that she missed the chair and fell to the floor instead.

            "Oh hell!  That is coming up!" fumed Chika, "Why does everything have to go wrong for me?" she whined.

            "Do ya adolescents have ta whine, whine, whine about everything?  Drop the angst, I'm gonna go to bed," moaned Leiko, rubbing her head.

            _'Stupid.  No one cares about what I do!' _thought Chika angrily to herself.  Can we say 'immature', folks?  Yes, I believe we can.

            "Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-doooooooo!" sang Shishi, who was taking a shower at the moment.  Unbeknownst to much of Makai, Shishi was actually a good singer too, _'Charming, good-looking, physically fit and active, intelligent, modest, loved by all, and a good singing voice on top of that,' _thought Shishi stepping out of the shower, _'I've just got it all,' _he thought, once again admiring his reflection, _'In fact, I'm perfect.  Not in a sickening way, but I am perfect.  That must explain why humans were created the way they are.  After God's vision and creation of me, there wasn't enough perfection to reach their inferior race.  I'm so pretty…'_

                                                            ~The following morning~

            Shishi walked over to Chika's bed and noted them time, 7:00 AM.  He was pretty sure that she had this 'school' thing today, _'To wake, or not to wake…that is the question,' _he thought dramatically.  Then he stopped, thought of what he'd just said, and blanched, _'God, I'm starting to sound like Suzuki.'  _He shrugged it off and poked Chika's forehead, in a way that he thought was light.  Well, being a strong demon, and Chika a weak human, a 'light poke' for a demon turned into, 'Something's crushing my skull!  Aaaaaaaaaaaagh!' for a human.

            Chika shot up and looked around wildly, then turned to glare at Shishi, "Thanks for trying to murder me," she muttered foully, getting out of bed and barely noticing the time.

            "I can't help it if there's such a power difference between us that…"

            "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!"

            As she stomped off to the bathroom, Shishi looked down at the bed and noticed a quite large spot of red on the sheets, "Ah-hah…whatever could this be, I wonder?" he said to himself sarcastically.

            "Look, Leiko's gone out to wherever and I've got to leave for school.  If there is any sort of damage to this house when I return, there will be hell to pay," snarled Chika in a dangerous voice as she put her toothbrush away and have Shishi a direct glare.

            Shishi ignored her, "That looks like a boy's uniform," he stated.

            "So what?"

            "So I'm not surprised it you can wear it.  You've got such small-"

            "Do we need to bring the frying pan into this?" asked Chika dangerously.

            Shishi's eyes widened, "No ma'am!" when she left the room, he opened one of the cabinets in the room and searched for something in it, "This'll work…" 

            As Chika walked out of the house, Shishi stood at the door and called out, so all the neighbors could hear, "Did you remember to pack extra sanitary pads?  You don't want to go getting a spot on that uniform you, know, it'd really stick out!" he shouted, waving a few pads in the air as he did so, so that no one had any doubts about what sort of 'pads' he was talking about.

            "Quit trying to ruin my life!" screamed Chika back to him.  

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Oh, the unparalleled joys of PMS.  Not.  I had brief thoughts about blatant self-insertion before I started this fic (dropped them quickly though, deciding the concept of a fan discovering one of her favorite characters in her room was unconscious plagiarism of my friend Jeril's fic, and in this case, it's more amusing to have two people who've just met and never knew anything about each other before clashing like this) and with some of the things that are happening to Chika, I'm glad I didn't.  I'd never be able to stand the mortification that would come from someone shouting out the door and asking if I had enough extra pads O_o.

Heero: *In bushes as always* Kurama doesn't even help her in author notes!  Why does she still want him around?!

Karasu: *Sigh* I thought we went over this before.  It's because Kurama is delicious.

Heero: I thought we went over the fact that you disturb me before, too and I want you to go away, but apparently not.

Until the next update!

~TRF


	8. You're In Trouble Now Shishi

I think I may have announced this before (or maybe it was the other fic…confusing damnit!) but my school starts the 26th (Later edit: Correction: I AM in school now and it royally sucks, being the social hermit that I am), so as of then I might not be able to update so frequently, unfortunately -_-'.  Hopefully by then I can get my lock for my locker figured out, or my locker will be a popular target for vandalism.

Disclaimer: I OWN IT!  I OWN IT I SAY!  *People in white lab coats drag TRF off to a place with padded walls* NOOOOOOOOO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!  I OWN IT!  I SWEAR I DO!

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                                                _Earth, Chika's house_

__

            _'Oh that was too good.  You really outdo yourself, wakamaru,' _Shishi thought gleefully to himself as he walked inside.  He wandered into the kitchen, having neglected breakfast entirely.

            "Is all of this supposed to be **edible**?" he muttered disgustedly out loud looking at some of the stuff in the fridge.  He finally took a bit of the 'iced cream', or whatever humans called it and started to eat.

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                                                _Earth, Chika's school_

__

            Chika walked into her history class ten minutes late and was met with stares from everyone, as she hadn't even bothered to put the things she didn't need for history in her locker on the way there, and slammed her book bag on the floor near the last available desk and glared at all the staring eyes.

            "Ms. Kurusu, I expect you have an excuse for being late?" asked her stern, heavyset history teacher, Unburinge-Sensei.

            "I had interruptions on the way," growled Chika.

            "Such as…?" she inquired.

            "My…my annoying foreign cousin held me up!" Chika lied quickly.

            She grunted, "Very well.  See that it doesn't happen again or you will find yourself with a zero for the day and detention after school."

            "Yes, ma'am.  I'll make sure of that, ma'am," and then she began to mumble under her breathe, "I'll pretend as though school IS my most important commitment, _ma'am_," she spat the last word.

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                                                _Earth, Chika's house_

__

            "Ooooh, what's this headache?" murmured Shishi after he'd finished off two cartons full of ice cream, "Stupid human food…and it's cold in here too…my head is spinning…" he promptly passed out.

            Hah.  Hopefully that'll teach him not to eat so much ice cream at virtually the same time.

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                                                _Earth, Chika's School_

__

            Chika frowned and chewed the end of her pen.  Stupid English class.  What'd they need to learn English for anyway?  English-speaking people lived a bunch of miles away from here, for Christ's Sake, and it wasn't as though they'd start pouring into the country in hordes anytime soon.  And she'd forgotten to study too.  And she had PMS.  And she was dreading going back home, as she half expected the house to be nothing but a pile of ash upon her return.

            She suddenly pounded her fists on her desk and yelled, "Screw this English test!" for the whole classroom to hear, before ripping the paper (with all of its funny-looking English symbols) into fourths, slinging her book bag over her shoulder, and storming temperamentally out of the room, barely listening to the English teacher, Professor Black (He insisted they call him 'Professor', an English word, instead of the usual –sensei)  from England, call to her that failing this test meant flunking English and needing to repeat it next year. 

_'Not as though I didn't already flunk that stupid class once…or twice…oh fine, this will be the third time I flunk it_ _and I'll have to sit in too-small desks surrounded by thirteen years olds next year again…but so?!' _she thought angrily.

            "And I've been able to hear you whisper all year about 'the stupid, ugly sixteen-year-old who takes English with us, for your information, you little kisamas!" she snarled at the frightened thirteen-year-olds from the hallway.  (Note: In case you weren't sure, 'kisama' is a very, very dirty word in Japanese.  It's akin to the f-word.  It's the word that people like Hiei use a lot and people from Funimation translate wrongly on purpose in the 'uncut Japanese subtitled version' of their DVDS because they don't think our delicate eyes could handle seeing it in subtitles).

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Geez, is Chika in a foul mood or what?  This chapter has been hard to write so far, because of lack of chemistry between two or more at least semi-important characters.  Blah.  And school makes me feel uninspired.  Plus, the fuckin' school prep girls who claim that 'they aren't popular' act like I'm some sort of retarded asylum escapee, even when I don't DO anything to them.  And someone I thought was my friend decided she wanted to be like them, so she ignores me now.  Bitch.  Eh…*Looks at what she just wrote* I really need a Deadjournal to vent these feelings, anyone got a code for one that I could use to sign up?

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                                                _Earth, Chika's house_

__

            After Shishi got over the 'ice-cream shock' and vowed that one day when he was dictator of the universe, he would ban the foul thing's creation, he sauntered over to that electronic bundle of wires and metals that humans called 'computers'.  He sighed at its vast inferiority to many things in Makai that probably could have got whatever job the humans wanted to use a computer for done in half time, at half the headache.

            _'But I suppose the pathetic creatures must make do,' _he thought haughtily, suppressing the urge to give the computer a well-placed flick that was sure to make it fall apart at the seams. 

            "What?" he muttered reading the screen as a dialogue box reading, 'Would you like to sign into Toroku Messenger 2005, Kurusu150?' he raised his eyebrows and clicked the 'yes' option, deciding it couldn't hurt anything, plus the human hadn't laid down any restrictions about her computer.  When it finished 'signing in', a list of names appeared on the list followed by either a black star, or a red x.  He noticed that only one of the names, someone calling themselves Aggie McGonagall, had the black star next to it.

            Suddenly, another dialogue box popped up, this one so abruptly that Shishi nearly fell backward in the cheap chair made of itchy material (Which he felt really shouldn't be grazing his perfect bottom with its tackiness and itchiness, but decided the human would go pyro if there was one spoon out of place) that sat in front of the computer.

            "Don't you have school right now, Chika?" asked the 'box'.  Well, that was what he thought it was supposed to say anyway, the Japanese was so horrendous, Shishi barely thought it recognizable as ANY language.  Except maybe the language of the Kukonkis, which were pitifully simple-minded creatures.

            "No…and I'm not Chika," he said out loud as he typed it into the box he was fairly sure it was supposed to go.  He hit enter, and hoped his impeccable Japanese would confuse her, whoever this 'Aggie McGonagall' was.

            "Who are you then!!!?" she demanded, and Shishi knew that the stupid human was probably sitting at her computer, staring unblinkingly at the screen, rabid curiosity on her face.

            "My name is Shishiwakamaru," he typed, not feeling like elaborating.

            "ASL?" she responded nearly instantly, using English symbols.

            "What?!" he typed in.

            She took a bit to responded after that, as thought unable to comprehend that someone wouldn't know what an 'ASL' was.  Finally, she answered, "Age, sex, and location."

            Shishi snorted, you could always count on stupid humans to ask stupid questions, but it wasn't like he had anything else to do, "Age: In terms of appearance, in human years, you might call me a 'teenager'.  Sex: I am a male…and not a virgin (He wasn't sure what type of 'sex' this person was referring to, but was NOT about to look stupid, so he answered it both ways).  Location: Oh gee, I'm speaking Japanese, and using a computer at this Chika-human's home, I WONDER where I am," satisfied, he hit enter.

            "!!!!!" she typed back.

            "Elaborate please, moron," he typed.

            "Oh!  You're at Chika's house, you're a male, and not a virgin!  I get it now!  Are you hot?!" she asked excitedly.  Shishi could practically see her drooling all over her computer itching for details.

            Shishi was tempted to end the conversation right there out of insult that she had implied he was giving that human the pleasure of…ugh!  Disgusting!  But he couldn't turn down the part about him being hot…he was very pretty after all… "Yes.  I am much 'hotter', as you insist on saying, than you could possibly comprehend, but I have no interest in your moody human friend.  I could have anyone I want, and I prefer fellow demons over grossly inferior, ugly, humans."

            "Where do you get off being such a jerk?!  You probably just used Chika and you don't really like and-" this was just far, far too much for Shishi, he brought his fist down onto the computer and broke it in half.

            He jerked his hand back, _'Shit!  The human's going to murder me!  Oh well, she really needs to stop talking to people that can barely make coherent Japanese sentences and ask about your 'ASL' and accuse you of doing someone of the opposite sex just because you're stuck in their god damned house and…' _he ranted for hours in his head, completely justifying (Well, justifying it in _his_ eyes anyway.  Which weren't *gasp* biased, or anything like that) everything that had happened since he'd logged onto the computer.

            Suddenly, Chika stomped through the door looking like a regular banshee, she saw Shishi leaning back in the computer chair with an angry contemplative look on his face.  Her own face contorted in fury, "WAKAMARU, YOU ARE DEAD YOU PRETTY BOY BASTARD!" rang throughout the neighborhood.

************************************************************************

Jah, I'm sorry, this chapter isn't as humorous as the last ones, but I'm going to try to make the next one funnier, but unfortunately, with the evils of school, I may not be able to update for a bit *sighs dramatically*

See ya as soon as possible!

~TRF


	9. It Was A Very Deceiving Trash Bin'

Hi everyone!  I'm feeling better since my last update, and I'd like to thank everyone who offered me condolences about my school situation.  I've got some new friends and I decided that even though some of the old ones are too *blind* to realize that the one who turned on us for preps just uses them for laughs, I won't let it get to me because SHE'S the one who should be laughed at.  So…yeah.

Disclaimer: What if I do own it?  What if I'm the reincarnated form of YYH's creator?  He's not dead, you say, so he can't have a reincarnation?  Do you know that for sure?  *Glint in eye*.  

*The insane asylum people come back*

Nooooooo!  Don't take me there again!  Watching Mr. Ed and the Teletubbies all day is tooooooooooortuuuuuuuuure!  *Sobs at their feet* Anything!

*One of them whispers something to her, she looks disgusted*

Ok.  Let me rephrase that: Anything EXCEPT kinky sexual favors involving an iguana named Herman with a pink, heart shaped collar!

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                                                _            Earth, Chika's house_

**__**

            Chika twitched, a possessed look in her eye, _'Must not kill bastard…must not kill bastard…must not kill bastard…' _she thought, trying to calm herself.  Of course, the use of the word 'bastard' did about anything but that.

            Shishi cleared his throat, "Er…I know what you must be thinking…" he began awkwardly, "But it isn't at all like I wasn't justified in doing…that," he pointed to the wrecked computer.

            "You're explanation better include something akin to 'I was being attacked by aliens and the computer was annihilated by their laser vision' for me to calm down one shitty bit," she snarled out, greatly emphasizing the last three words.

            "The English," responded Shishi, as though that explained the whole thing.

            "Yes?  What ABOUT the English?" asked Chika slowly, with barely suppressed rage, as though speaking to a two-year-old that had just broken a multimillion-dollar vase.

            "They're damn annoying!  What idiot came up with 'ASL'?!  Where do they get off thinking their Japanese is perfectly impeccable?!  Why do they think if you live with a female, you two must be making hot, wild monkey love every day?!  They're crazy!"

            "YOU LISTEN!  I HAVE ENLGISH FRIENDS, AND YOU HAD BETTER NOT BE INSULTING THEM!" she screamed at the top of her voice.

            "Why yes, I do believe I AM!" he shouted back.

            "YOU'D SOUND JUST AS BAD SPEAKING ENGLISH AS THEY DO JAPANESE!"

            "FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I MASTERED THE LANGUAGE 327 YEARS 10 MONTHES AND 45 DAYS AGO!"

            "Well we don't all LIVE that long in the FIRST place!" she snapped.

            "Oh ye of pathetic life span," said Shishi dramatically.

            "Now, tell me again why you broke the computer?" asked Chika with forced calm.

            "Because your little friend 'Aggie McGonagall' is even more annoying than you, if possible!" he shot back.

            Chika blinked, "Oh yeah…Aggie's the one with the Harry Potter fetish.  She actually claims to be Minerva McGonagall's squib granddaughter…" she appeared to ponder this for a moment, "but even if she's a tad…well…_touched in the head_…that's no reason to break MY computer!  What with your demonic powers, couldn't you just zap over to England and break hers?!  Or do you just enjoy tormenting me?!" 

            Shishi stared blankly for a moment.  He hadn't thought of breaking the _annoying _one's computer.  But as he thoroughly wanted Chika to believe him all knowing and omnipotent he couldn't let her know the thought hadn't crossed his mind!  So instead, he smirked and turned on his most charming voice, "Why yes, I do enjoy tormenting you, thanks _so _much for asking."

            Uh-oh, Shishi.  Wrong answer.  Chika let out something that sounded almost like a battle cry and launched herself at him beating her with every ounce, every reserve of power she possessed.  When her arms refused to punch any longer, she picked up the computer's broken monitor and bashed him over the head with it for good measure.  

            "Really human, you're rather pathetic.  I've stood here patiently during your onslaught, but do you think you're _quite _done now?" he asked impatiently.

            Chika stopped, "Here's a hand mirror.  Take a look at your face and laugh again, I dare you!" she handed it to him.  

            Shishi took the mirror and stared, seemingly so shocked, he'd died standing up with his eyes open in a permanent expression of horror.

            "Well?" Chika asked evilly, breaking him out of his trance.

            "_You killed my face!" _he squeaked in high, little-girlish voice, and promptly fainted.

            Chika shivered, "Ugh.  Don't use that high voice.  Reminds me of Unburinge-Sensei.  Bad boy," she lugged him over to the garbage can and threw him in unceremoniously.

            _'She will die…' _thought Shishi's subconscious in…uh…the place where your subconscious goes when you faint.  Let's call it 'Happy Land'.

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                                                _            Happy Land_

__

_'Shishi?  Is that YOU'RE subconscious I see drifting next to mine?' thought the subconscious of Suzuki._

_            'I guess so.  Mine's prettier than yours.'_

_            'They all look the SAME!  We're all little white blobs floating in an endless sea of nothingness in-'_

_            'God damnit, Suzuki.  I HATE it when you go philosophical on me.  It gives me a headache, so stop it now.'_

_            'You deserve all the headaches you can get!  I had to deal with your fans after you die-'_

_            'What?'_

_            'I just realized…YOU BASTARD!  YOU'RE NOT DEAD!  I'LL KILL YOU!' _

_            'That won't solve anything, will it?  It'll just make me REALLY dead, and you'll have whatever problems you were having before.'_

_            'And you say I make you confused.  But do you know that your fans accused me of being gay and locking you up for a sex slave?!'_

_            Pause_

_            'Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!  Dear Lord, that's the funniest thing I've heard in a good, long time!'_

_            'Shut up, Shishi.  It's **NOT **funny.'_

_            'Oooh, bold and capitalization emphasis, I'm real scared now.'_

_            'You should be.  I proved that I wasn't gay, and then they became MY fans, and the only reason I'm knocked out right now is because THEY did it, and they're probably gang raping me as we speak!'_

_            'You poor baby.  I've been there and back again about five times, so stop whining you pansy!'_

_            'Do you know how much I wanted to murder you and eat you right now?'_

_            'Didn't know you were into cannibalism.'_

_            'Haha.  You're a real riot.  My non-existent sides are splitting from laughter.'_

_            'You know, you're hell is nothing compared to mine.'_

_            'Oh?  What's worse than being a gang raped by women you don't even know?' _

_            'Being stuck in Ningenkai with a harpy human who tries to murder you at every given chance, I swear.  And Koenma is making me stay here.'_

_            'I'd rather be there with you.'_

_            'I dare you then, come and face the wrath of the human from hell!'_

_            'After the finals are over.  I gave the Urameshi team our items so they could flatten Toguro.'_

_            'YOU GAVE ONE OF THEM MY SWORD?!'_

_            'Yes.  Kuwabara.'_

_            'I hate you.'_

_            'Good.  I hated you from the moment I realized you left me here to suffer.  Oh…joy…looks like I'm being called back to my body now so I can be permanently scarred…'_

_            'I hope you scream and die of the trauma.'_

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_Earth, Chika's house, which is a good thing because the italics are hurting my eyes_

__

            "WAKE UP WAKA-BAKA!" screeched Chika.

            Shishi rubbed his head, "Waka-baka?  Humans are morons…I'm going to sleep now…hey wait!  I'm in a trash bin!" he yelped and got up, gently dusting off his bottom.

            Chika started laughing, "You just called HUMANS morons?  At least I'd notice right away if I was in a trash bin!"

            "It was a very deceptive trash bin," stated Shishi, he then marched off looking highly affronted.

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Uh-huh, go me.  My names for places are extremely creative, doncha think?  Happy Land.  Yay.  And if you're wondering why I didn't put any actions in the 'Happy Land' part, I figured since there were only two people, you could probably tell fairly well who was speaking__and, well, the two of them were little transparent blobs!  Little transparent blobs can't do anything!  

Next up: Look for Suzuki to appear at the Kurusu residence (As if Shishi isn't a handful by himself.  Or if you want to look at it from Leiko's point of view: As if Shishi AND Chika aren't a handful by THEMSELVES.) and not for the next chapter, but for future ones, remember Aggie McGonagall.  She didn't JUST appear in the last chapter and here for the sake of appearing.  Of course, until she gets a real 'character' per se, I have a feeling I'll make her into a running joke, so she won't be that hard to forget.

Until the next update!

~TRF


End file.
